A Gem From Glenn Beck: We're Paying $6 Million for a Turtle Tunnel

GLENN: You know, it's been really, really tough to find flaws in the stimulus package, I mean really, really tough. You know, the shovel ready projects that are designed to save America. I can't believe they aren't working. Have you seen the projects? Don't worry, don't worry. We're supervising, not ABC, CBS, NBC. No, no, no. The Glenn Beck radio program is the only one really looking at the stimulus projects to see what exactly, how are they spending this money that is going to turbo us into the future?

All right. One of the projects in the stimulus is in Florida where the state transportation officials have devoted $3.4 million to tackling roadkill on U.S. Highway 27 near Lake Jackson. This is creating jobs that are going to make us the superpower of the future. $3.4 million for roadkill on U.S. Highway 27. Now, I don't know if you've been to Lake Jackson lately. I hear it's beautiful, especially this time of the year, and the smell of the animal carcasses is just overwhelming, but so why is the $3.4 million needed to tackle roadkill? I mean, that's a lot of roadkill. Well, because the government solution to the problem is to build a 13 foot tunnel under the highway to accommodate the more than 60 species of animals that have met I'm quoting an untimely end on the road, end quote. Turtles are the most frequent victims on this road. Tunnels for turtles. $3.4 million. Who says common sense is dead? Why in the world would you build a tunnel for turtles? I mean, are they going to put up little road signs everywhere, very, very short ones that say, animals, please use the tunnels; cars approaching? Are they how are the turtles going to find the tunnels? I'm not an animal expert here but it just doesn't seem like it's going to work. But when did I say that before? The only reason why they are going to waste our taxpayer money on this turtle tunnel would be if they had tried this before and it worked. Well, I happen to remember this story because I've been in the broadcast business for a very long time and even when I was drinking, bloodshot out of my eyes when they were going to build a frog tunnel in California! Sacramento Bee reported this one and we talked about it in 2007. It was a toad tunnel, toad tunnel. They built one in the mid Nineties. The result? 2007 Sacramento Bee, quote: Toads had pretty much disappeared from the area around the Davis Toad Tunnel, which was dug with great fanfare in 1995 to allow the critters to get safely across a new highway ramp. John McNerny told the Bee he hadn't found any toad tadpoles in a nearby pond for a couple of years, leading him to conclude the tunnel had not been much help and that the toads had faded into oblivion. Quote: No tunnels had helped, ever being used by a toad. Not one toad, not 100, not a thousand, not one toad. Quote: It was well intentioned but not successful.

Just a quick ADD moment here. The toads weren't even toads. They were actually frogs, which underscores a major problem in this country. The evidence the toad tunnel isn't for toads. The Holland tunnel isn't for the Dutch. The Lincoln tunnel isn't for Lincoln. We have no idea how to even name stupid tunnels! The toad tunnel cost $14,000. Even California had more common sense. They only spent $14,000 on a toad tunnel. $3.4 million of your taxpayer dollars going to be used on a turtle tunnel!

Oh, wait. Hang on just a second. I apologize. I didn't finish reading the whole story. The wildlife crossing is only in the design stages. Oh. Hang on. Let me keep reading. $3.4 million for the design, for the design. So we're putting architects to work. For the design of the tunnel. Oh, here it is. It will require $6 million to be completed. So an unworking wildlife tunnel for turtles has cost you already $3.4 million and is going to be $6 million paid for by you.