Political Aphorisms

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

. . . Jay Leno

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

. . . Henry Cate, VII

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

. . . Aesop

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the
Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.

. . . Will Rogers

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge
even where there is no river.

. . . Nikita Khrushchev

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm
beginning to believe it.

. . . Clarence Darrow

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and
your opponents will do it for you?

. . . Author Unknown

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the
tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

. . . John Quinton

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and
campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

. . . Oscar Ameringer

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about
us, I will stop telling the truth about them.

. . . Adlai Stevenson

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

. . . Tex Guinan

A politician is someone who would sell his mother into slavery for a vote.

 . . . Dan Sellard


I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to
be left to the politicians.

. . . Charles de Gaulle

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be
better to change the locks.

. . . Doug Larson

There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on senators.

. . . Will Rogers

What If . . . ?

Rats (Demorats) and Journalice: Hilarious Weasels, Every One of Them

The current spectacle of Demorat political office holders and our curiously uncurious Journalice who gave us Obamacare -- apparently on the theory expressed by Nasty Nancy Pelosi that it had to be enacted in order to find out what's in it -- scurrying about in an effort to evade accountability for the mess they created is hilarious.  

The whole sorry bunch and its individual members demonstrate the sense of responsibility of weasels.

Great School Excuse

Open Obamacare Letter to Demorats

You Passed It.

You Own  It.

Stop Trying to Weasel

Out of Your Responsibility for It!

Who'd a'Thunk It?

Who ever would have imagined that the U.S. would be leading efforts to appease Iran and facilitate its nuclear weapons capability only to be blocked by the clarity of vision and firm resolve of the French?

Almost unimaginable, but that is the case, as clearly set forth in this report.

Record's Inescapable Conclusion

Just a glib and persuasive huckster – an Elmer-Gantry-like con man – or, otherwise, in plain, simple, and deservedly crude language:

A Lying Sack of S _ _ t

Training for Today's Public Service

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun

in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other.

He says to the waiter:

"Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Sure. Coming right up."

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee . . . .

The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere . . . and then he just walks out.

The next day the Indian returns.  He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other.  He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter:

"Want coffee."

The waiter says "Whoa!  We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.  What was all that about, anyway?"  The Indian smiles and proudly says,

"Training for position in United States Congress:  Come in late, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave shit for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."

Clowns In Charge

Looking Back at Shutdown Priorities

Why Old Men Like Me Don't Get Hired

Job Interview:

Human Resources Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?"

Old Man : "Honesty."

Human Resources Manager: "I don't think honesty is a weakness."

Old Man : "I don't really give a shit what you think."

Observation About Islam

Leadership Gallery

Obama Promises Require Interpretation

A Dead Brain Cell Lies at the Root of Every Gray Hair

          Perks of 

being over 60

And heading towards

70 or beyond!

1.

Kidnappers are not very

interested in you.

2.

In a hostage situation,

you are likely to be released first.

3.

No one expects you to run --

Anywhere.

4.

People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,

'Did I wake you?'

5.

People no longer view you as a

hypochondriac.

6.

There is nothing left

to learn the hard way.

7.

Things you buy now     will

never wear out.

8.

You can eat

Supper at 4 PM.

9.
You can live without sex

but not your glasses.

10.

You get into heated arguments

about pension plans.

11.

You no longer think of speed limits

as a challenge.

12.

You quit trying to hold

your stomach in no matter who walks

into the room.

13.

You sing along

with elevator music.

14.

Your eyes won't get

much worse.

15.

Your investment in health insurance

is finally beginning to pay off.

16.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists

than the national weather service.

17.

Your secrets are safe with your friends

because they can't remember them either.

18.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to

a manageable size.

19.

You can't remember

where you saw this list.

And you notice these are all

in big print

for your convenience.

Forward this to everyone

you can remember

Right Now!

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, NEVER ,

Under any circumstances,

take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on

the same night!

Officer Friendly No Longer on the Job

He has been replaced by a uniformed, armed and dangerous goon, who frequently is  trigger happy with a propensity for shooting first and asking questions later, if ever, as is detailed in this report.

For a recent -- though atypical -- example of how the serve and protect function is being performed by the supposedly expert professionals currently on duty, click here.  This example deviates from the norm because (i) nobody was killed or injured, (ii) there was no victim on whom the shooting could be blamed, and therefore (iii) the errant officer is being called to account -- a rare occurrence.