Republican leaders have agreed to support President Obama's plan to attack Syria. See, that’s what I love about our country. The only time Republicans and Democrats can agree on something is when it’s time to bomb somebody.
If President Obama really wants to hurt the Syrian government, don’t send cruise missiles. He should send over some of his economic advisers.
Did you see Vladimir Putin and President Obama shake hands today? They said something to each other. Of course, we don’t know what they said, nobody does — except the NSA, the KGB, and Edward Snowden.
. . . Jay Leno