Today's Chuckles

President Obama talked about rising gas prices today. He focused on the positive things his administration has done when it comes to energy prices. So, in other words, it was the shortest speech he's ever given.


If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

. . . Jay Leno

Deceitful, Delusional, or Just Plain Dumb ? ? ? ?

The doofus who occasionally -- between campaign and vacation jaunts -- occupies the oval office proclaims that drilling (for oil) is "a bumper sticker, not a policy," and says that doing so wouldn't bring down spiking gasoline prices.

Assuming that he isn't deliberately lying -- a distinct possibility -- this means he believes the high price of a scarce commodity would not come down were the commodity to become plentiful.  The great orator appears incapable of grasping (or admitting) even the most rudimentary economic supply and demand concept.

Instead of increasing our petroleum supplies, he would have us ignore the successive, continuing, and very costly failures of, and rely for our energy neads on the realization of his pond scum, solar, wind power and other fanciful green power delusions. Such miracles undoubtedly can be produced by one who imagines and confidently believes he has the ability to determine and bring about the earth's optimum sea levels and temperatures. 

Are You Doing Your Share for Michelle?

Caring for Hubby

At a Tea Party (Not Occupier) Gathering

Taking Gas

From Investors Business Daily:

     Obama's done everything he can to limit [oil] production -- slow-walking offshore permits, killing the Keystone XL pipeline, making it even harder to get oil out of federal lands.
     Instead of aggressively expanding oil production, he offered a set of ridiculous alternatives -- hugely wasteful "green" energy subsidies, a call for a million electric cars by 2014 and costly fuel economy mandates that won't make a dent in consumption for decades.
     With gas prices up 93% since Obama took office, we're seeing just how well this approach works.


P.S. From Lee Rodgers:


     Gasoline update: Regular has hit $5.79 per gallon in Orlando. Down the road in Lake Buena Vista, home of Disney World, it's $5.89 with premium at $5.99. Coming soon to a gas pump near you . . . .

Reminder from Thomas Sowell about the "fairness" argument Obama loves :
     Four years ago, TV interviewer Charles Gibson pointed out to candidate Barack Obama that raising capital gains tax rates had on a number of occasions led to less capital gains tax revenue being collected -- and, conversely, lowering the capital gains tax rates had on other occasions increased the amount of capital gains revenue collected by the government.
     Obama readily admitted that. But he said that 'fairness' justified a higher tax rate on 'the rich.' Yet how does a higher tax rate on paper, without a real increase in the amount of taxes actually collected, promote fairness? However, raising tax rates on "the rich" pays off politically, even if the government loses revenues when the rich put their money into tax shelters.
     High tax rates in the upper income brackets allow politicians to win votes with class warfare rhetoric, painting their opponents as defenders of the rich. Meanwhile, the same politicians can win donations from the rich by creating tax loopholes that can keep the rich from actually paying those higher tax rates -- or perhaps any taxes at all.
     What is worse than class warfare is phony class warfare. Slippery talk about 'fairness' is at the heart of this fraud by politicians seeking to squander more of the nation's resources.
                                                                     . . . Investors Business Daily 

Swindles: Only Some Are Legal

Italian police seized $6 trillion worth of fake, worthless U.S. bonds. Let that be a lesson. If you want to try and sell worthless financial instruments, you'd better be Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. That's the only way you're going to get away with it.

. . . Jay Leno

Human Activities Then and Now

A Combat Veteran's Perspective

The following is from a former Marine who served both in Korea and Vietnam . . . . He is dead on . . . .

My Two Cents:


Okay, I have to say something about the Marine pissing incident.

Was it inappropriate?  Yes.  Would I have done it? 

Probably not.

Would I have done it when I was 19?  Maybe.  Were there times that I may have done it in Viet Nam if time permitted?  There is a good chance for “probably.”  I was 22 when I was there and was called the old man and pops.

We send kids a year out of high school to the worst hell holes on earth and expect them to behave better than they did at their senior prom.  So many Americans have lived for multiple generations with security at home that they can’t comprehend what goes on in other parts of the world.

“War is Hell” isn’t just something they say in the movies. 

First of all, you are exhausted all the time because you never sleep deeply.  Your body  is running on high idle even when you try to rest.  The places we send these kids stink from lack of sanitation.

There are bugs and mold and mildew and trash and human waste everywhere.

You are in some level of fear all the time.  You've seen buddies killed, maimed, and terribly wounded. You have seen, smelled,  heard, touched, and done things no sane person would ever want to do.

There is no script for war.  It is improv at its best.  Shit happens  and it happens fast.  A blind eye should be turned to many, many things.

We have no idea what led up to this incident.  Did these kids eat in  the past 24 hours?  Has they slept in the past 36 hours?  What did these Talabaners do?

War is about killing people and breaking their things.  We have forgotten how to fight.  You can’t win peoples hearts while shooting their  Uncle Fred.  We knock down a dung and stick shed, and then replace it with a $12,000,000 hospital!  Well who won that one?

This is how we need to fight.

1.  Go in, kick ass on those who pissed us off.

2.  Destroy their infrastructure.

3.  Go home when we are sure they won’t have the desire to screw with us again for at least two generations.

I hate war.  I’m glad my sons didn’t have to go to war.

In reference to current times, we will never win the hearts of  Muslims.  They don’t even like themselves, hate their own families and kill  their neighbors. So what chance do we stand?  The only course to follow is  to convince them that the cost of messing with the West is way too high.

Back to the pissing kids.  Slap their hands, tell them not to do it again, and don't to try to figure out how pissing is bad and killing is okay.

War really is HELL It sucks, smells bad, and is bad for your physical and mental health. Anyone who hasn't experienced it  shouldn't be allowed to just sit in his or her recliner watching CNN and pass judgmenton on these kids.

Semper Fi .

Administration's 'Wise Man' Just a 'Wise Guy'

Good Lines

The vice president of China showed up at the White House today. That's what happens when you get behind on the rent. The landlord shows up, starts looking around.

New Jersey has passed a bill legalizing gay marriage. Now comes the hard part -- finding gay couples who want to actually live in New Jersey.

. . . Jay Leno

Mark Twain Reminder: Something We All Know But Too Often Fail To Keep In Mind

There are lies, 

damned lies 

and statistics.

Thank you Mr. Clemens

Remember This ? ? ? ?

Today I’m pledging to cut the deficit we inherited in half by the end of my first term in office. This will not be easy. It will require us to make difficult decisions and face challenges we’ve long neglected. But I refuse to leave our children with a debt that they cannot repay -- and that means taking responsibility right now, in this administration, for getting our spending under control.

. . . Barack Obama, February 23, 2009

Blindly Flying Into the Ditch by Choice

An Obama Encore?

An Accurate Observation

Politicians Cheapen Everything

The Obama Regime does things and sometimes you just look at them and wonder why.  Sometimes you simply ask what are they thinking? 

They now are doing something that makes most people stop for a minute and ask why. What are they doing?

They have announced that a new Navy ship is going to be named the USS Gabrielle Giffords.

 Why is a ship being named after Gabrielle Giffords and not one being named after Marc Lee?

 We all know the story of Gabrielle Giffords -- the member of congress from Arizona who was shot by a lunatic.  Her injuries were horrific and she has done a commendable job fighting back and trying to recover from the damage done to her by her insane assailant.

 But why name a ship after her?

She has no ties to the Navy, other than her husband who was a naval officer and astronaut.   She never served in the Navy, much less in combat.

Why is she being honored by having a United States Navy warship named after her?

Some have called Giffords’ fight to recover courageous. But  courageous is a term that is over used in America.   Courageous is not doing something for yourself when you really have no other choice.   Courage is putting yourself at risk for others.

Marc Lee enlisted in the United States Navy in 2001.  He wanted to be a Navy Seal.  By 2004, he had realized that dream.  By 2006, he was in Iraq. 

On August 2, 2006, his unit was in a vicious firefight with Islamic insurgents in Ramadi Iraq.   Another member of Lee’s unit was critically wounded.  Lee exposed himself to enemy fire twice, drawing it away from the wounded man and the team that was trying to evacuate him.  Later that day Lee and his men volunteered to go back out to engage the same Islamic fighters they had fought earlier.

Marc Lee took the lead to help protect his men and he died doing so. He gave his life for his country and his fellow servicemen.

For his gallantry that day, he was award the Silver Star.

People like Gabrielle Giffords.  People are horrified by what happened to her and want the best for her.  Everyone wants her to have a complete and total recovery.

But in the end, she was the victim of a crime.  That is terrible but not something that calls for the honor of having a Navy ship named after her.

Traditionally, the Navy names ships after people who were either heroes or at least rendered exemplary service to the nation.

The Navy has named ships after George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.  It is hard to argue those.  The navy has named ships after Chester Nimitz, the admiral in charge of the Pacific fleet during World War 2 and Dwight Eisenhower,  the supreme commander of allied forces in Europe during World War 2 who later became President.  Again, it is hard to argue those.

The Navy has named warships after John F. Kennedy, George H.W. Bush and Gerald Ford.  All three men served in the Navy.  Ford served in an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.  Kennedy’s famous PT 109 was sunk and he displayed heroism in saving his crew.  Bush’s aircraft was shot down over a Japanese held island in World War 2.  Again, all of them have done something to merit having a ship named after them.

Admiral Hymen Rickover, the father of the nuclear navy, once was tasked why the Navy had begun naming submarines after politicians instead of continuing its tradition of naming them after fish.  He responded saying “Politicians have more votes than fish.” 

If the Obama Regime were growing the Navy and this was just a stunt to get more money for the doing so, perhaps it could just be accepted and everyone would move on.

But that is not the case.

The Obama Regime is slashing military spending.

So the question remains.  Why is the Navy naming a new warship after an otherwise unknown  member of Arizona's congressional delegation and not after the first Navy Seal killed in Iraq?

Comics Focus on Mitt

Mitt Romney said today that he learned something. There are things that money can't buy — like Colorado, Minnesota, Missouri.

. . . Jay Leno

This Saturday is the drawing for one of the biggest Powerball jackpots in history, which means one lucky winner could be worth $300 million. Or as Mitt Romney calls that, "middle class.”

. . . Jimmy Fallon

From the Late Night Comics

A few good ones:

In Manhattan, the New York Giants had their own ticker tape parade. They don't use much ticker tape on Wall Street anymore. Stock brokers just toss government bailout money from the windows.

. . . Craig Ferguson

This is our first show back in New York after a week in Indianapolis. I think the “Hoosier Hospitality” really rubbed off on me. Today, I held the subway door open for like six rats that were trying to get in.

. . . Jimmy Fallon

Mitt Romney says now that he knows what Republicans want, he can change to those positions.                                       

. . . Jay Leno

Since yesterday's primaries, Rick Santorum's campaign has received $250,000 in donations. When Mitt Romney heard this, he said "$250,000? Oh, that's cute."                                     

 . . . Conan

Mitt Romney lost all three of the primaries. Today, he begged Donald Trump to take back his endorsement.

. . . David Letterman

Lashing Out by Liberal from the Belly of the Beast

For some unfathomable reason, a longtime friend and professional colleague resides in Berkeley. That masochichistic fellow dinosaur recently received a scorching response from a far more typical denizen of that bastion of progressivisim to an e-mail that my friend had distributed about the cost to the taxpayers of Nasty Nancy Pelosi's extravagant revels and travels on Air Force planes.


Citing a liberal blog, the angry Berkeley lib claimed the figures in my friend's e-mail were false, and that his communication had failed to note that a previous Republican speaker of the House of Representatives had run up similar expenses on the taxpayers' tab. Both the responding Berkeleyan and the blog he cited claimed the amounts set forth in the original e-mail included expenditures for (unspecified) other things, but neither contained any supposedly correct figures.


In fact the only specific fact contained either in the cretinish response or the blog it cited was the claim that the expenditures were not very different from those of a previous Republican speaker of the house.


The bottom line on this is that touching the sensitive nerves of at least one liberal in Berkeley brings forth a claim akin to excusing the murder of one's father on the grounds that Oedipus previously slayed his.

Tea Party vs. Occupy Movement

Although progressives and journalice equate the two, there do seem to be some differences:

REPORTED	OCCUPY MOVEMENT	TEA PARTY
ARRESTS	4149+	0
RAPES	12	0
DAMAGE	$10,000,000.00	$0
PUBLIC DEFECATION	YES	NO
ANTISEMITIC RANTS	12	0
COST TO TAXPAYERS ( by 11/9)	$19,327,487.00+	$0
PUBLIC MASTURBATION	3	0
MOLOTOV COCKTAILS THROWN	10	0
FIGHTS STARTED	YES	NO
CHILDREN EXPLOITED	YES	NO
POLICE CARS DAMAGED	2	0
PUBLIC DRUNKENNESS	YES	NO
DRUG POSSESSION ARREST	YES	NO
CONCEALED WEAPON ARREST	YES	NO
DRUG OVERDOSE	YES	NO
THEFTS	YES	NO
BURGLARIES	YES	NO
VANDALISM ARREST	YES	NO
TRESPASSING ARREST	YES	NO
NON FATAL SHOOTINGS	1	0
PUBLIC URINATION	YES	NO
URINATION ON OTHERS	YES	NO
ISRAELI FLAGS BURNED	2	0
AMERICAN FLAGS BURNED	1	0
AMERICAN FLAGS DANCED ON	1	0
AMERICAN FLAG DESECRATION	25	0
FELONY ASSAULT ON AN EMT	1	0
HEAD/BODY LICE OUTBREAKS	1	0
TUBERCULOSIS OUTBREAKS	1	0
MURDER	1	0
SUICIDE	1	0
SHOTS FIRED AT WHITE HOUSE	1	0
SCABIES OUTBREAKS	1	0
OBAMA ENDORSED IT	YES	NO
PELOSI ENDORSED IT	YES	NO
CAIR ENDORSED IT	YES	NO
SOCIALIST PARTY ENDORSED	YES	NO
NAZI PARTY ENDORSED	YES	NO
MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD ENDORSED	YES	NO
COMMUNIST PARTY ENDORSED	YES	NO
BIDEN ENDORSED	YES	NO
HUGO CHAVEZ ENDORSED	YES	NO
BLACK PANTHERS ENDORSED	YES	NO
HEZBOLLAH ENDORSED	YES	NO
MARXIST UNION ENDORSED	YES	NO
9/11 TRUTHER ENDORSED	YES	NO
BOLSHEVIK ENDORSED	YES	NO
IRAN GOVERNMENT ENDORSED	YES	NO
AYATOLLAH ENDORSED	YES	NO
NORTH KOREA ENDORSED	YES	NO
FARRAKHAN ENDORSED	YES	NO
NATION OF ISLAM ENDORSED	YES	NO