In Manhattan, the New York Giants had their own ticker tape parade. They don't use much ticker tape on Wall Street anymore. Stock brokers just toss government bailout money from the windows.
. . . Craig Ferguson
This is our first show back in New York after a week in Indianapolis. I think the “Hoosier Hospitality” really rubbed off on me. Today, I held the subway door open for like six rats that were trying to get in.
. . . Jimmy Fallon
Mitt Romney says now that he knows what Republicans want, he can change to those positions.
. . . Jay Leno
Since yesterday's primaries, Rick Santorum's campaign has received $250,000 in donations. When Mitt Romney heard this, he said "$250,000? Oh, that's cute."
. . . Conan
Mitt Romney lost all three of the primaries. Today, he begged Donald Trump to take back his endorsement.
. . . David Letterman