Raleigh, North Carolina:
Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew. This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of President Obama's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than six seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it In eight seconds with thousands of dollars worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team, as many races are won or lost in the pits.
However, Gordon got more than he bargained for.
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all four wheels in under six seconds, but within nine seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr., for ten cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower
Nothing like our NY home boys!