Raleigh, North Carolina:
Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his
entire pit crew. This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take
advantage of President Obama's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a
recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a
set of wheels in less than six seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's
existing crew could only do it In eight seconds with thousands of dollars worth of
high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by
Gordon's management team, as many races are won or lost in the pits.
However, Gordon got more than he bargained
for.
At the crew's first practice session, not
only was the inexperienced crew able to change all four wheels in under six seconds,
but within nine seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number,
and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr., for ten cases of Bud, a bag of
weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower
Nothing
like our NY home boys!
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