When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to four letter words:  A member of Parliament to Disraeli: Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir, said Disraeli, whether I embrace  your policies or your mistress.  He had delusions of adequacy. - Walter Kerr He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices  I admire. - Winston Churchill I have never killed a man, but I have read many  obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow  He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll  waste no time reading it. - Moses Hadas I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying  I approved of it. - Mark Twain He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked  by his friends. - Oscar Wilde I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one. - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second  . . . if there is one. - Winston Churchill, in response. I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here. - Stephen Bishop He is a self-made man and worships his creator.  - John Bright I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope  it's nothing trivial. - Irvin S. Cobb  He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness  in others. - Samuel Johnson He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.  - Paul Keating In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always  yielded easily. - Charles, Count Talleyrand He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.  - Forrest Tucker Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? - Mark Twain His mother should have thrown him away and  kept the stork. - Mae West Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. - Oscar Wilde He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts . . . for support rather than illumination.  - Andrew Lang (1844-1912) He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this  wasn't it. - Groucho Marx