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Somali  Pirates Say They Are Subsidiary of Goldman Sachs
 
Could  Make Prosecution Difficult, Experts Say

 NORFOLK,  VIRGINIA  (API  World News) –  Eleven indicted Somali pirates dropped a bombshell in a U.S. court today,  revealing that their entire piracy operation is a subsidiary of banking giant  Goldman Sachs.

There  was an audible gasp in the courtroom when the leader of the pirates announced,  “We are doing God’s work.  We work for Lloyd Blankfein.”

The  pirate, who said he earned a bonus of $48 million in dubloons last year,  elaborated on the nature of the Somalis’ work for Goldman, explaining that the  pirates forcibly attacked ships that Goldman had already shorted.

“We  were functioning as investment bankers, only every day was casual Friday,” the  pirate said.

The  pirate acknowledged that they merged their operations with Goldman in late  2008 to take advantage of the more relaxed regulations governing bankers as  opposed to pirates, “plus to get our share of the bailout money.”

In  the aftermath of the shocking revelations, government prosecutors were  scrambling to see if they still had a case against the Somali pirates, who  would now be treated as bankers in the eyes of the law.

“There are lots of  laws that could bring these guys down if they were, in fact, pirates,” one  government source said.  “But if they’re bankers, our hands are  tied.”